Whispers Of The Morning

a soft whisper spoken from my heart

Archive for May, 2006

Pay day!!!

Posted by Dawn on May 31, 2006

It’s so nice to have money for about an hour! It’s pay day so that means it’s bill day too~~~once I balance the checkbook and start writing some checks we’ll be broke one again. So glad Patt gets paid weekly!

Ok last week I thought I was going to go crazy after seeing someone I haven’t seen in 1 1/2 years. I am being tested big time! This person has made my life #$%& since I was 19 years old. Even worst, she use to be my best friend and she’s my cousin. Too long of a story to go into details, but I will say that because of her I almost killed myself and because of her I didn’t think I was worthy of God’s love or even human contact for that matter, because of her I thought if my cousin, my best friend judges me so bad and can hurt me so bad just because she didn’t like something I did, then how can I expect the world to love me, how can God love me, if this person can’t even love me. So I have closed myself up from the world and not let anyone in for about the last 15 years of my life. I have been so afraid if someone knew I was a sinner that they would hate me just like she does. (Ok she does not claim to hate me, but if what she does and says is love I want nothing to do with it) I have been missing out on real friendship and I’m so glad that I’m starting to let people back in my heart again. I feel like I’m finally starting to live.

So here are some picturs from Monday of some people I am slowly starting to feel like I can actually be friends with. I have learned that everyone has made some bad choices and that you can find Christian love in the most amazing places!

Patt and Mike racing their pocket bikes.

Mike holding Patt back to give “P” a head start on the race.

Christy blowing bubbles with “A”. Any day now Christy will be having our newest addition to the group! Baby “K”!

Mike with “A”. They are not riding fast he’s just barly riding her on the bike.

Mike and “A” racing “K”. Don’t worry the bike’s top speed in only 10 mph.

David (the hunter). Here is dedication. Broke leg and he still rides his motorcyle.

Mike taking his other daughter for a ride. These three girls love to ride with their daddy almost as much as they love their daddy. You can tell they have a great wonderful family. So thankful that Mike and Alexis have let us become a part of their family. Their girls are so sweet and amazing and they make really good cookies:)


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Posted by Dawn on May 30, 2006

I hope everyone had a great and safe Memorial weekend! We did and I loved the long weekend, just didn’t like having to get up and come back to work this morning. I could have sleep until noon if given the chance I think.

We rode Friday night until I dropped my helmet and broke the visor. Patt rode Saturday while I went to mom and dad’s to visit them. They are now thinking her problems are not migraines but some problems with a couple disks in her neck. She’s going for a CT of the neck this morning, then the doctors will decide next step. She’s know about the problem in her neck for a couple of years and I think she’ll have to have surgrey. She’s been putting it off and I think now it may be time. Sunday we were lazy!!!! Had every intention of cooking out and enjoying the day together, but after church we went grocery shopping, came home and both fell asleep on the couch. Didn’t cook-out started rainning so we did that last night:)

A bunch of the group and their families all got together to play around yesterday. We found a road that there’s no traffic and the guys rode. The kids brought their pocket bikes and Mr. Jimmy (Patt) raced them and the kids played and had more fun than the big kids. I’ve got some great pics, but I’ve got to edit some of them. Everyone decided to come out to our house and we finally cooked our steaks, oh and it rained again, but we cooked anyway. Starting to learn this is not some ordinary group that Patt is hanging out with. I think we are turning into a really neat group of friends. One of the guys made a comment to Patt how great it was that we were all cooking out again that they don’t have many friends and they enjoy being with everyone. I think if I let myself I may have some good friends here too. I just have to open myself up to trusting that not everyone in the world is out to hurt me. Everything happens for a reason and I think I saw someone last week that made me realize I’ve been shutting the door to friendship and trust because I’ve shut the door and wouldn’t let anyone in. Maybe it’s time to unlock that door.

Ok more later. I’ve got a deadline for Thursday with some work, so must jump in and get it done. Have a great day!!!

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The Female Brain

Posted by Dawn on May 26, 2006

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Photo Hunt

Posted by Dawn on May 26, 2006

This weeks theme: red, white, and blue in honor of Memorial Day

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Grab the Scavenger Hunt Code and Blogroll here

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While trying to decide what to do for red, white and blue, I was looking through some pictures and trying to decide and saw this one. They are wearing all colors in their outfits. My nephew Hunter and my sweetie Patt. We were taking picutres all the January's birthday people on with each month and it got to their month and Hunter was like, cool Uncle Patt and I have the same birthday. They don't but we can't get him to understand it, so we'll just pretend since he's all excited about them having the same birtday.

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Hubby on a Suzuki GSX-R 1000. It's blue, white with the "R" in red. This is what we do on the weekends and I guess with us having a long weekend we'll be riding more!

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So not only are our motorcycles red, white and blue so is our 4 wheeler. This is what we do when we are not on the motorcycle.

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My poor yard, at least we are in the country!

I'm thankful that we live in a country that we have the freedom to do crazy stuff like we do. We have the freedom to make our choices, live our lives, and be FREE! Thank you to all the veterns thoses who have fought and thoses that will fight so that we may be free to live our life the way we want to. To have the freedom to choose our religion, our jobs, who we marry, everything. I sometimes forget what our country has gone through to be free. Thank You!

God Bless All of Us!

If you participate with in the Scavenger Hunt please leave your name so I can make sure to come visit you this weekend!

Posted in Motorcycles, Photo Scavenger Hunt | 20 Comments »

Happy Thursday!!!

Posted by Dawn on May 24, 2006

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Thriteen Reasons Dawn Need a Nice Hot Bubble Bath

( and maybe a glass of wine too! )

1. I have been stessed that I had to remove my old blog (all about funand life) and start this new one because a co-worker was reading it everyday.

2. Same co-worker is driving us nuts at work and will not turn the a/c on low enough to cool the office off. She's cold. Well we're hot and it's 90 degrees outside!

3. My mom is in the hospital with mirgaines that act like a stroke. If they don't get them under control they think this could lead to a stroke.

4. Someone I love dearly is worried about his marriage and I can't fix it for him. Wish I could but this is something he has to work out himself.

5. Hubby has been offered a job that will be more money but he will have to work nonstop for 6 months and it's an hour away from our home. He has a month to make a decission.

6. Just found out there will be a new program that I will have to start billing for. Problem is my case mangers can't get the program they already have done right. I wish before they make new programs they would talk to the people who have to deal with all the problems first instead of running head first and having us clean up the mess.

7. Rumor has it Jackson is getting an arena football team which will be located by our building. This means they will be pulling our lease on the property, buying our building and we will be moving. If/when don't know yet, but it sounds like it's a done deal.

8. Last year a friend from the past was involved with a road rage shooting. He has pleaded guilty and will be sentensed in a few weeks. His ex girlfriend who is still one of my friends calls me wanting to talk nonstop about him going to jail and now she feels sorry for him. Sorry you shot and hit a young lady in the arm. He could have killed her, wrong is wrong!

9. Mom's side of the family is wanting to have a big 4th of July family cookout. After the Easter cookout, Dawn and Jimmy will make an excuse! Now I just have to find a way not to make mom upset.

10. I've got to have a tooth pulled. The thought of it makes me so scared.

11. Every time I turn around someone is asking when we're going to have a baby. This is driving me nuts. We're almost ready we just need a little more time.

12. I want to change churches and I don't want to hurt our pastors feelings. I adore him and his wife, I just don't care for the some things going on in our church. Time will tell if we leave.

13. Last reason I need a bubble bath. I just want one!!! Just because it's so relaxing and I just want to relax and enjoy some peace and quit!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

Posted in Thirteen Thursday | 38 Comments »

wake up Dawn!

Posted by Dawn on May 24, 2006

I went to the dentist yesterday and it was not good. I’ve got a tooth that’s been hurting, I’m thinking no biggie, well it is a biggie and it didn’t hurt bad until I went to the dentist. It’s in the back and I think I’m going to have it pulled. She can’t do anything until I take this nice bottle of antibiotics and until she messed with it the pain was just minor. Now it’s major! Last night I thought I was going to go crazy with the pain. I had already taken advil and nothing, so I pulled out some pain meds from a previous apt and took it. Talk about lala land! It took about an hour for the pain to calm down, and by then I was feeling good – until I woke up. I use to have the best teeth and now it’s like horrible. I brush, floss, I do what I’m suppose to do. I don’t drink milk, so I wonder if I’m not getting enough calcium. I just know I’m dreading this!

My mom had a spell with her migriane. She’s been having more and more and not telling anyone and from what I understand the type she’s having can lead to a stroke. They put her in the hospital yesterday thinking she was about to have one. Today they are running more test. She’s been going through this for over a year now so I hope they get things straight. They are talking about putting her on some type of migraine thepary ( which I don’t know much about) and seeing if it will make the spells less painful and in numbers. I have migraines but mine are nothing like hers. She has the major headache with chest pains, numbness of the arm, her face goes numb then tingles and she has a hard time talking. I’m going up there at lunch so I hope by then she’ll know more.

It is so hard seeing your parents start to get weak. She’s not as strong as she use to be and she can’t bounce back as quick as she use to. With dad being legally blind and mom being the caretaker, she really needs some rest right now. She’s going non-stop and it’s about time to start saying the word NO and start taking time to rest.

I’ve kept watching even with Chris not performing anymore. Chris was my favorite and I do think he will go far with greater and bigger opportunities, but now it’s down to Kat and Taylor.

I’ve watched all seasons except the first one. To me this has been the best season yet! I will be happy for either one of them to win. There’s things I love about both of them and after tonight I will be able to leave my tv and go back to the real world. That is until another reailty show comes on. Yes I need help, I love reality shows!

Off to work I go.

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

ocean blue

Posted by Dawn on May 23, 2006

You are Ocean Blue
You're both warm and practical. You're very driven, but you're also very well rounded. You tend to see both sides to every issue, and people consider you a natural diplomat.

What Color Blue Are You?

Thanks to Barbara for this neat test!

Posted in Quizes | 2 Comments »

Bandaide for the broken heart?

Posted by Dawn on May 22, 2006

I wish I had a big ole bandaide for someone I love more than life. I got a phone call Saturday morning with the question from someone, “can you fall out of love with someone”? It broke my heart the converstation I had. Now I’m wondering did I help or make matters worst? Plus finding out that this person was hurting and me not get in the middle was and is hard! I would do anything in the world to stop this person from hurting. I’ve cried so much and the angry I feel I don’t like it.

So I’ve been thinking, can you fall out of love if you are really in love to began with? Scary question to ask someone who’s been through a divorce.

First husband, let’s just call him “Bob”. Not his real name. As I explained to this person I don’t feel I was ever truly in love with Bob. To be completely honest I was running really fast away from a painful heart ache that involved Patt. I wanted far away from him at the time and Bob lived in Baton Rouge and showed me a life I never experienced, so I believe I was in love with the life style Bob was offering me and not Bob himself. So I don’t think I fell out of love, I don’t believe I ever really loved him to began with. For that I am truly sorry for being with him and for the wrong reasons. I don’t think I did it on purpose. I think I wanted to love him, but to be honest my heart as always been with my blue eyes since that day I met him.

So now this persons partner thinks they have fallen out of love and I don’t know how to answer the question. I do know marriage is hard! It’s not the fantasy life we dream of as little girls. Prince Charming will turn into this guy who speaks at times only to say “hey sweetie, while you’re up will get me a ______”(insert any word, coke, cookies, ice cream, tea, advil, napkin, you get the picture). Then you start to wonder is the grass greener on the other side. He’s not what I thought marriage would be! No it hasn’t been. Now do I think I’m married to Prince Charming? Of course I do….BUT I don’t think I live in that fantasy world that I use to. Life, marriage, your job it all throws really big curve balls and it bites. It’s just how we handle it. Me, I know I’m blessed. It’s taken a lot of work, a lot of tears, really big fights, a broken bar stool, sleepless nights, a whole lot of praying, and work. Hard work. Marriage is not something you say I do, then eat your cake and life’s a piece of cake. Loving your partner through the hard times takes love and communication. You can’t give up.

So what do I tell this person when they are wanting their marriage to work, and does not want to give up and the partner it sounds like already has given up? To give up years, a family, a life, just because it’s not fun right now? You have to actually take care of your family and you can’t go out with your friends like you use to? I don’t understand it.

I can’t judge, I can’t fix it, and I can’t say anything. I can pray and pray some more.

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we rode, he rode, we rode…

Posted by Dawn on May 21, 2006

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I have rode the motorcycle with Patt more this weekend than I have all year. Friday night I shocked everyone and actually went out. Even today one of the guys made the comment that they’d seen more more this weekend than since we met. I am tired, have done no housework, but I’ve had a blast.

Friday night we met up with everyone and it’s the first time I’ve been out at night. It was really nice to have some of the guys wives/girlfriends come up to me and tell me they feel like they know me becaue Jimmy (Patt) talks about me nonstop. I still can not believe that me the prissy girl that turned country rides on a motorcyle with a crazy girl named my husband going speeds I will not even talk about. Oh and I loved it. Except for the curves. I do not like them and Patt loves to fly through them. We went out to this place they stunt and play around and I was surprised at how good Patt is. We finally made it home and got to bed around 2 a.m.

Saturday they were meeting up to ride and since he couldn’t play with me on the back Friday he went out while I called one of the girls who’s husband was going out with them. We started off at a really cute coffee house, went to the movies, grocery shopping, then she came back to our house to wait on them. They ended up in Greenville which is about 2 hours away to go to a car show. They got in around midnight, I cooked, then we got to bed again around 2 a.m.

We got up around 8:30, Sunday, got ready meet up with several from the group to go to one of the guys dad’s church. They had a bike blessing and dinner. It’s nice to know that the people he is riding with are Christians and he’s with a group of really good people. Before I met these guys I was guilty of putting people who rode motorcycles into some kind of category that was unfair. I have come to learn that these guys would do anything in the world for me and especially Patt and what’ s weird is I’ve come to learn I’d do anything in the world for them. I’ve come to love these people.

I get comments all the time about Patt riding and the way he rides. He’s crazy on that bike, but I can’t change him. I can’t make him stop. I don’t think I want to anymore. I really enjoy riding with him. I can see me riding with him on Tuesday nights after American Idol is finished this week, and letting him have the weekends.

It was a strange feeling this morning being in church with some of the guys. A good feeling. I wish I could describe it but I can’t. I’ve had problems trusting in the past and as were riding home and we were flying through the curves on the back roads I realized I just needed to trust Patt. Then I thought I need to trust God. I know that sounds funny, but I have just a hard time giving myself to God. I felt free coming home this afternoon.

Ok time to go find something to eat…

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Posted by Dawn on May 20, 2006

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Click here to jon Saturday's Scavenger Hunt

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Ever Easter at our church we have an early service, the men cook breakfast for the ladies and everyne brings fresh flowers to put on the cross. It is so sweet to see all the families with their kids in the new Easter outfits taking picutres by the cross. I've only been a member of this church for 1 1/2 years and it's the sweetest thing I've seen done.

In the background is our church. It's a simple town, a small community with a really big heart.

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