Whispers Of The Morning

a soft whisper spoken from my heart

A whole lot of talking

Posted by Dawn on July 17, 2006

The weekend was pretty much a whole lot of talking and I hope a deal we can both deal with it. 

 We finally had the heart to heart about his friends girlfriend that’s going to have a baby and why I am so upset about them being at our house.  Even though I do believe he understands how much I hurt I think when they come by he will keep them away from me as much as possible.  I don’t care for them to begin with and I don’t agree with their lifestyle and I won’t pretend I do.  I have in the past tried to talk to them, they have asked our advice and do the opposite and it is their life, but I do have the choice of being a part of it which I don’t want any of it.  I will not be ugly to them, I will just keep busy in the house when they stop by.

Another biggie this weekend, Saturday night Patt got yet another ticket.  I’m tired of his hobby costing us money and I made him feel really bad which is not what I wanted.  I just wanted him to understand how I felt giving things up, not doing things with my friends trying to save to start a family, pay off some bills, yet it seems like everytime he goes out with his friends, it’s costing us big time.  So I’m getting my life with my friends back.  I will start going out to eat like I use to, I’ll start going back out again once a month when we have our monthly meetings where everyone from all the districts are in town and I’m not asking permission.  If we can find the money for tickets we can find the money for me too.  I will ride with him on Tuesday nights, Friday night goes back to being our date night and no motorcyle dealings and he can ride all he wants on Sat and Sunday unless there’s a family deal we need to go to.  I won’t get upset with him coming in at 2 a.m. anymore, I just want my Friday night back just the two of us.  Time will tell…..

I stil feel a gap between us.  I don’t know if it’s me or it it’s really there.  I’m still mad at him.  I am not asking him not to do things with his friends, I’m just asking for him to see what I’ve done for us, and I just want him to understand that going out and riding motorcyles until 2-3 in the morning is getting him in trouble.  This is the time frame he gets tickets, they are out and looking for them.  So who knows.  I’m trying to feel better:)

Posted in Depression & Anxiety, Whispers from me... | 7 Comments »

I’ve got Proof this time….

Posted by Dawn on July 14, 2006

This cute little girl has been trying to get me in trouble this week, but I’ve got proof today!!!

Tuesday Patt call me when he went home for lunch.  First thing out of his mouth….guess what you forgot to do this morning????  I’m thinking what have I done this time?  He proceeds to tell me I forgot to put Ruby in the kitchen.  Said she was under the covers asleep on our bed.  I was like noooo I didn’t.  He thinks the gate we put in the hall is too high for her to jump.  I’m sure I didn’t forget…I always play with her before I leave.  So I drop it.

Yesterday…same thing and I’m like no way no how did I forgot to put Ruby in the kitchen.  I let her out when he left for work and did not let her back in until I was ready to leave and by then everything was done, gates put up and all.  I played with her like I always do.  Still last night he’s like no way can she jump over the gate.  I’m like well someone is coming in while we are gone.  I’m not that crazy….  Well I guess the ghost is playing with Ruby while we are gone.

 He just called from the house.  I’m like no way I have proof this time.  I took a picuture of that dog  in front of the gate before I left this morning….

haha I have proof this time.  Can’t blame me:)

Posted in Patt, Whispers from me... | 9 Comments »

At least it’s Friday

Posted by Dawn on July 14, 2006

I still don’t know how I’m really feeling.  There’s so much going on everywhere I turn and I’m just tired of pretending!!!  For now I’m all smiles on the outside but in truth the inside is really hurting.  I can’t be me, I’m not suppose to have a voice and it really doesn’t matter what my heart feels.  Let’s make sure we don’t hurt any friends feelings, who cares that crap I don’t like is being said and going on in my home, I’m just suppose to go with the flow regardless how I believe and deal with it. 

 I will say one thing that is bothering me real bad, is one of Patt’s friends girlfriend is going to have a baby.  She just turned 17 and has no clue how to take care of herself much less a baby.  She comes to our house all messed up on who knows what, smoking and I’m suppose to be ok with this.  They talk about using the system which I am not ok with.  Get a job, get some insurance at least try to do something instead of spending your time thinking of ways to use the system.  I know at times everyone needs help, but at least try and not make comments on how it’s the state of MS place to help you.  This girl has to be told when to take a bath, shave her legs, she has no clue how to cook, nothing and yet she and her boyfriend who has no clue either on life are going to be responsible for a child????

Why does this hurt so bad?  Because I want a family so bad.  It breaks my heart.  For real guys.  I’d do anything if Patt was ready to start a family, but he’s too busy having fun with his kid friends that by the time he’s through playing it will be too late for us.  So now I have to be in my home and witness crap that makes my heart hurt so bad it’s thrown me into depression and Patt does not want me to say anything b/c it will hurt their feelings?  What about mine.  I’m his wife what about my feelings?  We are talking about maybe at the end of the year trying to have a family.  Wednesday I went for my yearly check up.  I talked in detail with my doctor.  What I need to be doing now, where should my weight be, vitiams, eating, lifestyle, everything I could think of.  Just to do everything I can to help with our child being healthly.  Then to witness this stuff and listen to the comments and I’m just suppose to deal with it.  In my home???  This is causing major problems for us.  It scares me….  

Then on top of that, family things, work issues, I just wish my mind and heart didn’t have to hurt in this.  Sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much, then maybe I wouldn’t hurt… 

Posted in Whispers from me... | 9 Comments »

Change my mind

Posted by Dawn on July 13, 2006

Ok I had done my 13 Thursday but took it off.  I’m not in the best of moods and shouldn’t be writing today…….

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

Pics from vacation

Posted by Dawn on July 11, 2006

 It’s been two weeks since vacation and I’m just now posting picutres.  It’s been busy since we got back and so much going on.  I have a cousin that’s leaving Friday to go to Destin and I’m like take me with you please.  I just loved Destin!!!

Above is my favorite picture. Patt was looking for shells and I love how his foot prints go into the water.

Above, a cute fellow we meet in Destin.

Ok a picutre of me:)

Picture of Patt.

This was a cool place to go. It was so worth going there.

I just love these guys. See the one waving at me!

Marching out to get some food.

Above is a picture when we were playing miniature golf.

Playing miniature golf.   One of the last holes went through a “cave” and this was a picture looking outside from the cave.  I just thought it was cool.

This picture is from a bathroom at an ice cream store. I just had to take a picture of the wall!!!

Patt makes friends with a sweet wolf. I would have brought this guy home.

The beach in Destin.

Patt makes another friend, and no way would I bring this guy home!

The beach in PC.

Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

The weekend

Posted by Dawn on July 10, 2006

We are having sever problems today and I just wrote a nice long post, and lost it, so here is the short and sweet of it.

Great weekend.  Busy weekend.  We had Puckett Day in our town and that afternoon my nephew Hunter’s birthday party.

This is called “Well, If this is the only was I can get away with it”.  Patt got a ticket from a Puckett police for doing this on his GSX-R, so he really enjoyed doing this in front of all of them.  This is not the police officer that gave him the ticket.  This guy loved the picture he asked me to email it to him and gave me permission to post his picutre on the website.  The parade was a blast.  Had lots of fun.

My father in law rode his antique car and won a prize!

We ate hamburgers, had some watermellon, then it was off to Utica for my nephew’s birthday party.  The party turned out really nice, the kids had a blast and we ate more hamburgers!  Couldn’t wait to get home since we’d had a long day, but it was worth all the fun.

 More later, must get to work.  Hope you had a great weekend too!

Posted in Whispers from me... | 5 Comments »

This weeks theme…signs!

Posted by Dawn on July 8, 2006

 

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

 Want to join the fun?

Go here to join!

 

 I was thinking of this weeks theme when I wanted to take this picutre, but as you can tell, I was a little slow and didn’t get the shot.  I asked Patt to go back and let me try again and he wouldn’t:(

So this is plan “B”.  This is the sign above my favorite place to get a hamburger in our town.  To be honest, it’s the only place to get a hambuger in our town.  But it’s the best!!!

Posted in Photo Scavenger Hunt | 16 Comments »

Thirteen Thursday

Posted by Dawn on July 5, 2006

 

Since next Monday is my nephew Hunter’s 4th birthday, I’m doing

13 Things about Hunter!

 

1.  The first time I ever saw him, my brother was carrying him to the nursery.  Who knew then how he would change our lives!

2.  They lived near Six Flags in Texas for a while, so they had season passes.  One of his favorite words was Wheeee.  That’s the sound he makes on the roller coaster:)  And the school bus too.

3.  The first time he ever said my name was on the way home from daycare on Old Port Gibson road.  You’d think I’d won the lottery I was so excited.

4.  On of his favoite games was ring around the rosie (is that right).  I can’t tell you how many times we have all fall down.

5.  He loves water.  From taking a bath to swimming he love being in the water.

6.  In choir not long ago, the choir teacher asked them if they wanted to sing Jesus Loves Me.  Hunter said no and broke out into a country song that didn’t have such great words.  The whole group knew every word to the song.

7.  He loves to sing and he sings very well.

8.  He loves to dance.  They have him on video at Six Flags dancing and a crowd of people watching him.

9.  My dad has this walk where he puts his hands behind his back as he is walking.  Hunter walks the same way.

10. When I try to get him on the phone he does not want to talk to me.  It’s “Where’s Uncle Patt”?

11. One day when he actually talked to me I told him I was coming to see him.  He told no I wasn’t I was coming to see Cookie.  (My border collie that lives there)  He gives Cookie lots of attention for me.

12. The other day when I was there he was eating some candy and it was all gone he said.  He said he was going to buy some more.  When asked if he had money he said nope daddy does.  When I told him he needed to pick up his toys for the money he said that’s ok, granny and papaw will buy it for him. 

13. He has a smile that makes my heart melt.  Who knew I could love as much as I love him and Samantha. 

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Posted in Thirteen Thursday | 19 Comments »

Rainning like cats and dogs!

Posted by Dawn on July 4, 2006

So where did that phrase come from?  I know it’s rainning so hard and I could crawl in bed and sleep real good right about now.  Maybe once Patt’s friends leave I can….

 I am thankful that the rain waited until we got in.  We spent the day with the motorcycle group taking pictures and letting the guys practice their stunts, then we came home to get our swim suites, picked up a couple watermellons and went over to one of the guys house to swim.  As if these guys were crazy enough on motorcyles they kept up laughing in the pool.  From having a diving contest to to tricks with a bikecycle going into the pool.  Oh and no there was no drinking involved, they are just that crazy!!!

While the majority of the group headed to watch fireworks, I was just ready to come home.  The thought of having to get up early in the morning and seeing what’s waiting for me at the office is just depressing!  The week and a half went by so fast and I’m amazed that out of that week, today is the only day Patt has rode motorcyles.  He spent the week with me!  I am still blown away that even when we got back he just spent time around the house.  Also, as of now, no major fight (there’s still a few hours in the day), very supportive of what’s going on with my family, has been an awesome shoulder for me to cry on, and while on vacation…let me have free run of the credit card.  Now the real world, and he has to decide what he’s going to do about the job offer he’s got.  Decission time.

Guess I’d better get some rest.  I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on in the morning plus I have a funny feeling they have installed a software that watches where we go on the computer so I may have to start visting everyone from home.  Guess I’ll find out soon.  Hope everyone had a blessed and safe day today!!!

Posted in Whispers from me... | 6 Comments »

So happy to be home!

Posted by Dawn on June 30, 2006

First of all for the Saturday Photo Hunt I’m going through my pictures trying to find a picutre other than a motorcycle to post.  If I’m able I’m going to run to my father in laws and take a picture of his classic car, if not that means he’s gone, or I haven’t pulled myself away from unpacking.

Second to anyone that came by last week and I didn’t make it to see your photo I am so sorry.  I had a family emergency Saturday and didn’t get on the computer much before leaving.  In time maybe I’ll be able to write about what’s going on, but for now I think it’s best not to.  If you pray I will ask that you just keep my family in your prayers.  All of us and that would be most appreciated.  I almost didn’t go on vacation, but after talking to my family we decided there wasn’t much I could do at the time so we went.

Now where did we end up.  We left early Monday morning and drove until we got to Destin, Florida.  We stayed there 2 nights then drove down to Panama City for 2 nights then drove home this afternoon.  We had so much fun.  Patt didn’t complain about me being on the phone with my family the whole trip, he was fun, supportive, and let me have the credit cards and let me do what I wanted to.  Now I’m not much of a shopper, but I have to admit, I did some shopping.  We went to a few shows, found out I’m not a beach person unless it’s not hot.  Oh my goodness I can’t believe how hot it is.  Wasn’t it just a few days ago I was talking about being cold?  We did the beach thing early in the morning and late in the evening, so my poor ole legs are still just as white as they were when we left. 

So lets see, there was a new tattoo for someone, fun with the fish, an alligator, a wolf, a monkey, some turtles that came home with us, hunting for shells, golf world and lots of food!  Found out there is not helmet law in Florida and it blew my mind seeing everyone riding motorcyles without helmets.  At this one store this “kid” got off a street bike, no helmet and no shoes!  I just looked at Patt and said don’t ever let me see you without a helmet on!!!

Ok more about vacation later.  If I don’t post a picture tomorrow please forgive me!  I will however do my best to come see you guys and again so sorry I didn’t make it to everyone last week.  I hope things will be back to normal soon!

Now it’s off to sleep in my bed and curl up with my little Ruby girl.  I missed my dog 🙂

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »